The North has coffee houses.............The South has Waffle Houses
>
> The North has dating services,..........The South has family
reunions.
> The North has switchblade knives.....The South has Lee Press-on
Nails
> The North has double last names......The South has double first
names.
> The North has Ted Kennedy.............The South has Jesse Helms.
> The North has Indy car races............The South has stock car
races.
> The North has Cream of Wheat.........The South has grits.
> The North has green salads...............The South has collard
greens
> The North has lobsters.......................The South has crawdads.
> The North has the rust belt.................The South has the Bible
Belt...
>
> FOR NORTHERNERS MOVING SOUTH............
> In the South: --If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four
> men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be
> along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way.
> This is What they live for.
>
> Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same
> store....do not buy food at this store.
>
> Remember, "y'all" is singular, "all y'all" is plural, and "all
> y'all's" is plural possessive.
>
> Get used to "You ain't from round here, are ya?"
>
> Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later on
> how to use it.
>
> Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. They
> can't understand you either.
>
> The first Southern statement to creep into a transplanted
> Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "big'ol," truck or big'ol"
> boy.. Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect this
> way. All of them are in denial about it.
>
> The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper .
>
> Be advised that "He needed killin." is a valid defense here.
>
> If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all watch this." you
> should stay out of the way. These are likely to be the last words
> he'll ever say.
>
> If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the
> smallest accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the
> local grocery store. It doesn't matter whether you need anything or
> not. You just have to go there.
>
> Do not be surprised to find that 10-year-olds own their own
> shotguns, they are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught
> them how to aim.
>
> In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush green
> lawn is to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway.
>
> AND REMEMBER:
> If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we
> will accept them as Southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens
> in the oven, we wouldn't call 'em biscuits.
Posted by: MikeT
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lavender
In the South: --If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four
> men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be
> along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way.
> This is What they live for.
>
Evil can attest to that
Posted by: skeezix
$400 bucks to pull you out of a ditch?
Ow!
Posted by: skeezix
Hmm...I s'pose!
I just had Rhiannon towed today, to a body shop 1/2 hr away. It cost me $65 bucks.
