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40 things we'd all love to say at work!
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Posted by: maverick2010

1 I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.

2 I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

3 How about never? Is never good for you?

4 I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

5 I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.

6 I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

7 I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.

8 I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

9 It sounds like English, but I can't understand a damn word you're saying.

10 Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.

11 I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.

12 You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

13 I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.

14 I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

15 I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

16 Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

17 The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

18 Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

19 What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?

20 I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

21 It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.

22 Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

23 And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...?

24 Do I look like a people person?

25 This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

26 I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.

27 Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

28 If I throw a stick, will you leave?

29 Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

30 Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

31 I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

32 A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

33 Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?

34 Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

35 Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

36 Chaos, panic, and disorder - my work here is done.

37 How do I set a laser printer to stun?

38 I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted a salary.

39 Who lit the fuse on your tampon?

My favorite
40 Oh I get it... like humour... but different

Posted by: bigjsgirl

I would love to be able to say some of that!!! Thats funny!!!

Posted by: John

I have two signs hanging in my cubicle.

Sign 1:

"If assholes could fly, this place would be an airport!"
*This one isn't liked by my some of my co-workers.

Sign 2:

"The beatings will continue until morale improves."
*This sign isn't liked by management.

I have to take both signs down if we are having "visitors".

Posted by: No Rice Allowed

"Can I go to work now, I've been on break for 7hrs"

Posted by: KingofSlackers

No lie.... a LOT of those have been said here.

... and notice number 36 .... ummmm, where have I seen that before

Posted by: bl3wbyu

I do believe I've seen it before, actually on another forum somewhere; but I can't remember where...

Posted by: TNT

I find myself saying 35 at teh gym of all places a lot.

If I'm swimming laps, and everytime I come up to take a breath I can smell you from more than 10 yards away.........you're wearing too much fucking perfume!

Posted by: No Rice Allowed

"If Supervisors were flyswatters, this place would be infested with maggots!"

Posted by: 3SuperSports

The sign in my office (given to me by my late Father right after he retired) reads "I want to help you out. Which way did you come in?"

Posted by: 1LowCav

the sign on our locker room door reads:

THROUGH THIS DOOR WALK SOME OF THE BEST LIFT OPERATORS TO EVER STUFF A FANNY IN A CHAIR

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