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Enough with the Canada bashing...

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Posted by: VETTKLR

Texas Owns You All!!!



Subject: The Great Republic of Texas


With the presidential campaign in full swing, Texas has a message for all those complainers out there. After seeing the whiners, the folks from Texas have decided that we might just take matters into our own hands.

Here is our solution:

#1: Let Kerry become President of the United States (all 49 states).

#2: George W. Bush becomes the President of the Republic of Texas.


So what does Texas have to do to survive as a Republic?

NASA is in Houston, Texas. We will control the space industry.

We refine over 85% of the gasoline in the United States.

Defense Industry - we have over 65% of it. The term "Don't mess with Texas," will take on a whole new meaning

Oil - we can supply all the oil that the Republic of Texas will need for the next 300 years. Yankee states - sorry about that.

Natural Gas - again we have all we need and it's too bad about those northern states. Mr. Kerry will have to figure a way to keep them warm.

Computer Industry - we currently lead the nation in producing computer chips and communications: Small places like HP, Texas

Instruments, Dell Computer, EDS, Raytheon, National Semiconductor, Motorola, Intel, AMD, Atmel, Applied Materials, Ball Semiconductor, Dallas Semiconductor, Delphi, Nortel, Alcatel, Etc,Etc. The list goes on and on.

Health Centers - We have the largest centers for Cancer research, the best burn centers and the top trauma units in the world and other large health planning centers.

We have enough colleges to keep us going: U.T., Texas A&M, Texas Tech, Rice, SMU, University of Houston, Baylor, UNT, Texas Women's University, etc. Ivy grows better in the south anyway.

We have a ready supply of workers. Just open the border when we need some more.

We control a good portion of the paper industry, plastics, insurance, etc.

In case of a foreign invasion, we have the Texas National Guard and the Texas Air National Guard. We don't have an army, but since everybody down here has at least six rifles and a pile of ammo, we can raise an army in 24 hours if we need it. If the situation really gets bad, we can always call Department of Public Safety and ask them to send over a couple of Texas Rangers.

We are totally self sufficient in beef, poultry, hogs and vegetable produce and everybody down here knows how to cook them so that they taste good. Don't need any food from anywhere else.

This just names a few of the items that will keep the Republic of Texas in good shape. There isn't a thing out there that we need and don't have.

Now to the rest of the United States under President Kerry: Since you won't have the refineries to get gas for your cars, only President Kerry will be able to drive around in his 9 mile per gallon SUV. The rest of the United States will have to walk or ride bikes.

You won't have any TV as the space center in Houston will cut off your satellite communications. You won't have any natural gas to heat your homes but since Mr. Kerry has predicted global warming, you will not need the gas.

Signed,
The People in Texas







Posted by: Mr. P

Wrong again dude, California and New England have plenty of "natural gas" lol

Mr. P



Posted by: VETTKLR

Due to recent events, I think Caulifonyah is due for a change.

As for New England. pffffffft.



Posted by: 28

Quote:
Originally Posted by VETTKLR
Due to recent events, I think Caulifonyah is due for a change.

As for New England. pffffffft.



Werd.....




C'mon P...Ya gotta come bigger than that...... Oh,and you Cali folk say hi to the Hawaiian folk when you hit their coast.... ..



Posted by: 28

Good educational thread bud.....



Posted by: merczephyr

Texas blows...Literally.



Posted by: 28

Quote:
Originally Posted by merczephyr
Texas blows...Literally.





Don't hate.....Congratulate....



Posted by: GMR

Another Vote for Texas!!

LS



Posted by: StoneFox

Thats what Im talkin bout



Posted by: Mr. P

Ya know, I'm not bashing Canada at all, I'm just trying to find out where I can buy one of those ear-flap mullet hats that make you look like you crawled out from under a log cabin with a peat roof.

Mr. P



Posted by: Grape Ape

NASA is still in Florida too, it's original location. They land in Texas, right? There's something I never could figure out. Launch from Florida, land in Texas... And TRAILER that bad boy back to Florida so it can learn to fly again!



Posted by: VETTKLR

Nope, no planned landings in TX that I recall...just Mission Control in Houston, takin' care of business as soon as they lift off.

I believe they've landed in White Sands, (NM?) Kenndy Space Center, Fla. and Edwards AFB, Cali.

Back in '86 or so, I was a walking encyclopedia of NASA info. ...many beers ago.



Posted by: GMR

Yep, White Sands NM. Ive been out there many times. I think they might if trailered it once or twice. But most of the time they piggybacked it atop a 747. I used to be full of Nasa info back in the day.

LS





Now thats some ModernMuscle right there!! Well kind of, it was designed in the 70s, but you know what I mean





Posted by: JustaV6

random smilie time:





Posted by: Grape Ape

The shuttles have landed in Florida before, but for whatever reason, they don't want to very often. They blame weather, but Idonno if that's reasonable. They have a landing strip about 3 miles long. I know little about NASA overall, but before he died, one of my grandfathers was actually a "rocket scientist" for NASA. He lived in Cocoa Beach and worked there for many years, retiring in about 1982. He had some NEAT toys too. And I miss him still.

Anyway, I don't see why they "need" one place to launch, and one to return. Seems like a waste of cash.



Posted by: skeezix

Quote:
Originally Posted by JustaV6
random smilie time:









Posted by: VETTKLR

Hey Evil...

Save that as :markus:





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