Quote: Originally Posted by Sweet Seduction ....Next, we get our periods in our early to mid-teens (or sooner). Along with those budding boobs, we now bloat, we cramp, we get the hormone crankies, have to wear little mattresses between our legs or insert tubular, packed cotton rods in places we didn't even know we had. Our next little rite of passage (premarital or not) is having sex for the first time which is about as much fun as having a ramrod push your uterus through your nostrils (IF he did it right and didn't end up with his little cart before his horse), leaving us to wonder what all the fuss was about. Then it's off to Motherhood where we learn to live on dry crackers and water for a few months so we don't spend the entire day leaning over Brother John. Of course, amazing creatures that we are (and we are), we learn to live with the growing little angels inside us steadily kicking our innards night and day making us wonder if we're having Rosemary's Baby. Our once flat bellies now look like we swallowed a watermelon whole and we pee our pants every time we sneeze. When the big moment arrives, the dam in our blessed Nether Regions will invariably burst right in the middle of the mall and we'll waddle with our big cartoon feet moaning in pain all the way to the ER. Then it's huff and puff and beg to die while the OB says, "Please stop screaming, Mrs. Hear-me-roar. Calm down and push. Just one more (or 10 ) good push," warranting a strong, well-deserved impulse to punch the bastard (and hubby) square in the nose for making us cram a wiggling, mushroom-headed 10lb. bowling ball through a keyhole. After that, it's time to raise those angels only to find that when all that "cute" wears off, the beautiful little darlings morph into walking, jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking little poop machines. The teen years. Need I say more? The kids are almost grown now and we women hit our voracious sexual prime in our mid-30's to early 40's while hubby had his somewhere around his 18th birthday (which just happens to be the reason all that early hot man sex got you pregnant in the first place). Now we hit the grand finale: "The Menopause,"the Grandmother of all womanhood. It's either take the HRT and chance cancer in those now seasoned "buds" or the aforementioned Nether Regions, or, sweat like a hog in July, wash your sheets and pillowcases daily and bite the head off anything that moves. Now, you ask WHY women seem to be more spiteful than men when men get off so easy INCLUDING the icing on life's cake: Being able to pee in the woods without soaking their socks... Now I love being a woman but "Womanhood" would make the Great Ghandi a tad crabby. Women are the "weaker sex."? Yeah, right. Kiss My Ass

Quote: Originally Posted by Adrenalin 1)Next, we get our periods in our early to mid-teens (or sooner). Along with those budding boobs, we now bloat, we cramp, we get the hormone crankies, have to wear little mattresses between our legs or insert tubular, packed cotton rods in places we didn't even know we had. 1) girls sure didn't mind using this little card to miss classes or half of class as well as turn into a raging cychopath then blame it on... that time of the month!!! 2) Our next little rite of passage (premarital or not) is having sex for the first time which is about as much fun as having a ramrod push your uterus through your nostrils (IF he did it right and didn't end up with his little cart before his horse), leaving us to wonder what all the fuss was about. 2) if you girls would have stopped playing so darned hard to get, tease the boys so much then made him so anxious for the big moment, he would have been a little more at ease!! 3)Then it's off to Motherhood where we learn to live on dry crackers and water for a few months so we don't spend the entire day leaning over Brother John. 3) Yea yea yea, Now is when you girls get to say, at 1 in the morning mind you, "honey I really want a one of those Chocoate Creme Pies" that you can only get from the indian little store that is all the way across town in the pouring rain and..... your man of course gets it for you!!! 4)Of course, amazing creatures that we are (and we are), we learn to live with the growing little angels inside us steadily kicking our innards night and day making us wonder if we're having Rosemary's Baby. 4) Face it you girls just use that as an excuse to go shopping to do what women do best... spend money!!!!! 5)When the big moment arrives, the dam in our blessed Nether Regions will invariably burst right in the middle of the mall and we'll waddle with our big cartoon feet moaning in pain all the way to the ER. Then it's huff and puff and beg to die while the OB says, "Please stop screaming, Mrs. Hear-me-roar. Calm down and push. Just one more (or 10 ) good push," warranting a strong, well-deserved impulse to punch the bastard (and hubby) square in the nose for making us cram a wiggling, mushroom-headed 10lb. bowling ball through a keyhole. 5) okay you may get just a little simpathy there.... that just can't be natural and that is the only reason men put up with you is because we feel sorry for you!!! 6)After that, it's time to raise those angels only to find that when all that "cute" wears off, the beautiful little darlings morph into walking, jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking little poop machines. 6) yea yea yea and we hear, "Honey can you go check on the kids please?" while we have to get up bright and early for work the next day and you women get to sleep in all day long and watch your soap operas!!! 7)Now we hit the grand finale: "The Menopause,"the Grandmother of all womanhood. It's either take the HRT and chance cancer in those now seasoned "buds" or the aforementioned Nether Regions, or, sweat like a hog in July, wash your sheets and pillowcases daily and bite the head off anything that moves. 7) this is elementary but you give us guys no credit, we are on to you! and yes your right, the grand finale it is! .... You girls use this excuse to rip us guys' poor heads apart now that we are in the weakend state that you have put us through during the course of our lives and hit us with just about all of the above! The cychopath returns, we no longer get the nookie (we even got Viagra to take away that excuse!!), ask us to get you whatever you want and blame it on your hormones, and want us to feel sorry for you so you can go spend more money, and while your gone we have the inevitable list of Honey do's!!! Now, you ask WHY women seem to be more spiteful than men when men get off so easy INCLUDING the icing on life's cake: Being able to pee in the woods without soaking their socks... I think being able to do this is just a crumb of what men were supposed to get but I bet when God made Eve, she probably gave him the same line while poor Adam was recovering from the loss of his rib which if it were up to Eve would have been more then just A rib!!! and yes we [/b]DO[b] want to know why women are so bitter and bitchy!!!!!

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